Dear Son,
I really do hope this finds you in the best of health and happiness.
September is here and its your birthday month!! Weeeee! I’m so excited! It is now my favourite month of the year, as we get to celebrate you, my darling boy❤️
Its your fourth birthday this year.. i can’t begin to tell you how much you have grown up in these last four years. Its been a tough journey for you and me both but yeayy..we’re here!
So starts the story of your birth. I have written to you during my pregnancy days in a red diary, hope you get to read it some day.
Today I want to tell you about the day you were born.
So as you may have heard, it was a caesarean surgery and we scheduled it on a Sunday. I actually wanted your birthday to be on 26/09/16..that is combining 26th of my birthday and 09 of your dad’s birthday. But your Middle Daadi’s birthday is on the 26th of September so didn’t want to share your birthday with anyone also. Its okay, your birthday is also unique like you.
So we went to the hospital in the morning, all prepared for you. Everything was ready for you to come. I walked into the OT smiling, surrounded by all our family members. All three of your Dadus Dadis were there along with your Jee, Nene and Mama. I wonder what you call them now. Ofcourse your dad was there, giving me encouraging smiles but I think this was the first time I had seen him nervous.
So I walked in and many people started doing many things simultaneously. I asked them if your dad could come inside and be with me and the hospital staff looked at me like I was crazy. So that didn’t happen. I could hear everyone talking loudly outside. The noise was oddly disturbing. But I could hear your dad talking to someone (I think the stem cell guys) and I tried to hold on to his voice, drowning out all others. Later I found out all 5 dadu dadis were there, along with my choti maasi and mausaji.
The doctor came a bit late, it seemed everyone was a bit anxious. It was confirmed at the end when she told her staff that this was a very important surgery, half of Cuttack was standing outside so take her properly outside, cover her properly.
Anyway, they numbed my lower body and started doing stuff. They were talking very loudly to each other about kolkata and what not. I wished they would keep quiet. It took much longer than what I had anticipated. I started shivering and feeling very cold at one point. They did something and made me feel better. I wanted to vomit and they showed me a tray and said “chepo chepo”. When I looked at them quizzically, the doctor asked the nurse to speak in hindi or english as I couldn’t understand what she was saying in odia. Spit, she said. Well ok.
A few minutes later, I heard you crying and swear to God it was the most beautiful sound that I had ever heard. I started laughing and crying, all at once.
“Is the baby ok?”, i asked
“Yes yes” said Dr. sanjukta
“Is it a boy or a girl?”
“Well, what do you want it to be?”
“Either. I just want a healthy baby. Is the baby fine?”
“Yes, baby is fine. Its a ndjehuejd”
“What?”
“Its a boyyyy.”
Oh my God. He is hereee!
But you kept on crying for a long time. And I wanted to pacify you or go to you but I couldn’t. They were closing me up. I looked down to see some flesh coloured thing and then realised it was my own thigh, that I couldn’t yet feel.
Finally, after what seemed like hours (it was actually), they took my stretcher out. I saw everyone, looking so emotional and happy. Your dad was the one who came to me. He put his palm on my cheek, and asked “Are you okay?”
I nodded and smiled at everyone. Yeayy. Baby is fine, I’m fine. I thought I had just won the biggest battle of my life.
When they took me to the room, I felt excessively giggly. And cold. After they wrapped me up in a million blankets, I told your dad that I felt high. I definitely was. Whatever they gave me for the pain was highly potent stuff.
“He’s perfect.”, I told your dad after seeing you for the first time.
“He really is.” He replied.
Everyone met me and finally they gave you some honey etc and you were ready to feed. The first time your tried to feed, we were both so new at it. But I remember thinking, wow, this little guy is a champ. Even though it is the first time in your life that you were trying to feed, you were so good at it. And so hardworking. You were brilliant that day, my son. You were brilliant on the day you were born and everyday after that.
Your nene took care of us that night. I don’t know how we would have survived that night without her. I was drugged and in pain and you were hungry. She somehow managed us both.
That day and every day after that, I’ve been grateful to God, for giving you to me. You are a wonderful child, extraordinary in every way. And oh my God the most adorable baby in the world.
May God always always bless you.
Enough for today, I’m getting too emotional.
Lots of love,
Now and forever,
Mumma
❤️
The Sun and the Shadows 